I’ve worked a bit backwards with this blog business, beginning my collection of entries before actually creating the darn thing. Early this morning while Aspen was sleeping I refined my list of “things you’ll expect to see here”. One of them was “adventures in pregnancy and domesticity”. My husband laughed when he heard that one. Actually, he balked. “You, domestic?” I’m sure he was thinking. As if I’m a wild beast that couldn’t possibly be tamed in that way. But it happens. In pregnancy, you’re large, tired, off-balance and grumpy. You’d much rather grab a spot on the couch with a book or a movie than go out and listen to your half-buzzed friends proclaim how they “love you!” with Patron and cigarette-laced breath. Those things are only fun when everyone can play.Then once the baby arrives, you’re home 24/7 …feeding, changing, diapering, shushing, rocking, feeding, shushing, getting sprayed with projectile infant poop and so on. Oh yes, and the occasional stroll around the neighborhood. Friends and family kept a close watch on me…how are you doing? Are you ok? How is it for you to be home? Etc etc. What I now realize, is that except for a few to-be-expected moments of emotional overwhelm and breakdown, I have quite enjoyed this little cocoon of mommyhood. A complete 180 from my previous on-the-go social butterfly experience, but I’ve embraced it and come to really enjoy the delicious calm. But I’m lucky. I live close to the beach, in arguably one of the loveliest neighborhoods in the country. Baby strollers, coffee shops, boutiques and people watching abound. Not to mention I can take off in the Bob and cruise the beach for 2 hours if Aspen is having a tricky day. We have young neighbors that I chat with on a daily basis. My hubby is in and out all day with clients, but I see him and we have lunch several times a week. Life hasn’t been all champagne and hot tubs, but I look forward to every day I get to spend in this current existence. I feel blessed to be here.
In that respect I think I’ve had it easy. But I hear so often from many new mommies who really struggle with the transition. Those who live in more suburban areas, in neighborhoods that are anything but delightful and the community…well, less that communal. Sometimes hard-working partners don’t come home until 8:00 at night…mamas might be left with alone, with a cranky baby for 12 hours a day in a neighborhood where they feel no community connections. Ahhhh…so lonely motherhood can be! My heart goes out to anyone who has felt that sting.
My point is this, don’t suffer in silence! We are communal creatures and we are meant to enjoy and embrace the world around us. It makes us better parents. This single-family suburban existence is alienating for our little souls and it’s time we fight back. So mommies out there…find your peeps and find your bliss! I plan to and I hope you will too. Keep seeking out beautiful experiences, making groups, doing things you enjoy, and connecting up the dots until you feel whole again. Your baby will be better for it, and so will YOU.