I’m looking for a new place to lend my heart.

Most of my pre-mom life, I was an advocate for animal rights. In 7th grade I learned about cosmetics companies conducting horrific scientific experiments on bunnies and monkeys, just to be sure our blushes and mascaras were safe. So I wrote to PETA, designed my own presentation complete with brochures and a slide show, and got up in front of my entire class to educate friends and classmates on this topic that I found to be, utterly unimaginable. After college I volunteered at various Humane Societys and local animal shelters. I am undeniably compelled to try and help. I’m human after all, which makes me indirectly responsible for most of the bad shit currently happening to our planet and the other species that inhabit it.

Even now, I see that ASPCA commercial with the depressing Sarah McLachlan theme song and the animals with sad caged eyes, and GOD, I just want to poke my own eyes out.  It hurts my heart too much to bear.

But a new thing has happened since I became a mom – I’m now also concerned with the humans. Particularly the little ones. Here’s why:  I can’t fathom that in a country with such incredible wealth (and obesity?), that 1 in 4 children in this same country can be at risk of hunger every single day.

With better organization, don’t we have more than enough land to grow healthy food for all of the wee ones who count on us? Honestly, how do we look at ourselves in the mirror?

It’s always been one of my biggest dreams to have some billionaire with a conscience take a liking to me, and say. “Here!  I have 10 million dollars a year I need to give away, can you do it for me?”

But until that day comes all I can do is keep pointing my own compass towards the place that feels right, the place that feels like the most appropriate balance between ignorance, and obsessive despair. A place where action meets peace, not in a happy field with butterflies and rays of sunshine, but in a simple place of knowing contentment. Where I can say to myself, “here’s what I can do for right now, and that’s enough”.

But to do that I need to first find where to lend my heart. A new organization to get behind and believe in. I need to identify a group in Southern California that is doing something to help.  Hoping that Share Our Strength might be it.

Car accidents and cancer, those are tough to control. But hungry kids – in the U.S.? My mind is still grappling with how this is possible.

Is anyone else troubled with the suspicion…that maybe we should all be doing a hell of a lot more?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s