Dear Dad & Universe

Universe – I was not ready for this. An overwhelm of fear and sadness is not what I meant when I asked for time to stop.  I’m left to wonder if with great blessing, comes great tragedy. Is that how you find balance – and if so – what the hell universe? Thank you for all our blessings, but please, we’ve had our fair share of loss for this lifetime.

Please send him back to us. We need him here.

Dad – I’m sleeping in your room. Every night I say “Goodnight Pa” to the picture of you and Aspy on the nightstand. I stare at your hats, your clothes, and your shoes, and I imagine you in them again. Animating each in the way that only you can. I organized a few things but then immediately put them back – preferring things to be haphazard as it meant you had just been there.

I wasn’t prepared to imagine my life without you. I can’t.

This has been the most difficult and heartbreaking 10 days of my life – and I’m so grateful you’re still with us. They’re calling you a miracle and a “bullet-dodger” but again today you give us a scare.

They have no idea how strong you really are – please keep proving it. They don’t know how incredible a human being you are. How you fight tooth and nail for what you believe in, and give of your heart and home to anyone that needs it. How you slice a room in half and light us all up with your wit.

Please wake up soon and show them. I miss you Dad and I’m scared.
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